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              <text>So, what’s it like to live through a pandemic?  It’s…frightening.&#13;
&#13;
I feel compelled to answer this through the lens of a child.  I am a kindergarten teacher and mother to a 4 and ½ year old boy, so I have the gift and burden of seeing what social distancing means to children who are at an age where seeing friends and following school routines mean everything to them.&#13;
&#13;
I said good-bye to my students—well only four of them showed up on our last day together—not knowing when I would see them again.  I wanted desperately to exchange hugs and high fives, like we always used to do.  But I waved instead and the halls were eerily quiet too soon.  I looked around my classroom at what I could put away: the Lysoled counters for math and the Clorox wipes I am not supposed to use but there was a pandemic coming and I wanted to do what I could.&#13;
&#13;
Now I am told Clorox wipes aren’t enough. &#13;
&#13;
Fast forward to a week later, when it becomes clear that not only will school remain closed, but I will be teaching from home during that time.  You know, with the four year old by my side.  I do not know a lot about video conferencing and distance learning platforms, but I am certain that what the kids want is to see my face, so I prepare carefully crafted videos of read-alouds that also feature my son in his pajamas, when he cooperates.  Often he doesn’t, because his momma is on the computer way too much.&#13;
&#13;
Yes, cooperating is not his strong point these days.  Young children have always been a finicky bunch, but he hasn’t seen his friends in over a month and I am hopeless at following the nuances of his airplane/butterfly game, which is turning into a hospital game. &#13;
&#13;
We play a lot of hospital games now.  We also do a lot of snuggling and tear-wiping because he is angry at the interruptions and I am the safe place where he lets go.  I ask his teachers for mental health resources, but they don’t really know what to say other than offer some canned handouts about stress from the APA.  I take him outside, we go for out-of-the-way field trips to random trails hoping to avoid others.  But still, his misses all the people that make his village.  I can’t replace them all.&#13;
&#13;
So I look ahead to the future, try to plan lessons for well-being, both for my students and my son.  I try to give rhythm and predictability while I grasp for some of my own.  We’re planning on creating a car parade for a student’s birthday on Saturday.  Bet he’ll remember this day like no other.  I’m going to do my best to wave and cheer and try not to cry.&#13;
&#13;
&#13;
In spite of everything, I hope that these kids will look back on this time, grieve and grow, and remember how we connected nonetheless.</text>
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